And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
