So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My liver just had a heart attack.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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