Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
