She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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