I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
