Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
