He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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