Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
