Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
