we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
