Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
