did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So squirting runs in the family.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
