we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
