sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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