i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
