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• (770): View more from Georgia

  and technically it was a rebound

  (407): View more from Florida

  so lol

  (770): View more from Georgia

  and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game

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• (353): View more from

  When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  #1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table

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• (207): View more from Maine

  All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?

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• (310): View more from California

  Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument

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