life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
