Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
