I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
