Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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