please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I skipped work to stalk him.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
