Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
