No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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