Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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