Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
where are my eyebrows?
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