ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
