don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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