I bet he comes in French.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
