so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
