I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
