K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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