Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
