have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
