Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
