hotel room ftw
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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