I skipped work to stalk him.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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