Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
