I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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