Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
