But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
