Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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