Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
