its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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