Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
