So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
