There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
