Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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