haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
