I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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