You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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