The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
